Celebration of Pride

It’s no surprise that some things have changed
The world we once knew is no longer the same
The freedom to express yourself has new aim
It’s ok to be who you are and never explain

Some of you I grew up with as close friends
We knew it before you told us your views
I was never afraid to go to bat for you
I’ll stand to defend if they ever come for you

Many of you have recently made a change
It’s glorious to see you in the light
You hid in the shadows for far to long
Afraid of the world and the possibility of harm

Some of you still keep it hidden away
Don’t be afraid of what others will say
We love you for who you are every day
You have more strength than others say

I’ve lost friends because they felt ashamed
I’ll never forgive those who shunned you away
You are meant to be who you want to be
There is no shame in who you love anyways

If you’re Lesbian
If you’re Gay
If you’re Bi
If you’re Trans
If your afraid of what others think inside
Know that you don’t have to sink inside

I know a guy who is gay
His family found out and celebrated
His friends turned him away
He’s happily married living life his own way

I know a girl who came out to her parents
They didn’t accept it and had her banished
She grew up and confronted her relatives
Her wife’s family is her only family supportively

I know a couple that likes both ways
They live a life you wouldn’t believe
Their families disowned them instantly
Their friends support them whole heartedly

I know a few people who are trans
They are becoming who they want to see
Most people don’t understand their thing
But their friends and family are loving

There is nothing wrong with you
There has never been anything wrong with you
You are perfect in every way that you are
You are loved by more than you can see far

Most may tell me I can’t speak on this
Others may ask what right I have in this
Some may look at it as support for this
Few that know me know I have a say in this

Love is love
Man to man
Woman to woman
Man to woman and man
Trans to man
Trans to woman
Don’t ever let any one tell you it’s wrong
They are wrong for judging.

To the entire LGBTQIA+ community,
Peace, Love and Pride to all!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Home(less)

Many things in this life get lost
But the worst of all is when it takes all cost
The ones who don’t have what others take most
The ones who can’t get by without needing a host.

You see them every day
You see them as they try and wave
You don’t understand what they went through
You don’t know what it’s like to be see through

That rough man standing on the corner holding a sign
He used to have a great life with a wife and a child
Tragedy took everything away from him without a sight
He sat up drinking in agony of the loss every night

That young girl sleeping on the park bench at night
She came from a broken home where her parents would fight
One night her father came in and beat her out of spite
She would rather sleep on the streets than live in fright

That elderly lady pushing a shopping cart on the street
She had a family and gave them everything so they could eat
Her husband passed and her kids didn’t want to pay for her treatment
She wanders everyday in search of finding someone who remembers her feats

That young man living in his SUV you see around
He once had visions of changing the world pound for pound
One day he came home to an empty house that was turned upside down
Look close enough to see pain in his eyes from putting his dreams in the ground

But what everyone failed to realize
That rough man could balance your books in the blink of an eye.
That young girl could set up your marketing platform in a single night
That elderly lady could make your clothing line go to the top with just a sign
That young man could design you the next big thing for humanity if given time

We all fall down from time to time
Some fall only a few inches
Most fall a few feet
Others fall a few meters

Those that are fortunate enough to have the money will gain those inches that instant
Those that are lucky enough to have friends will recover those feet with persistence
Those that have no money or friends will beg society for any kind of forgiveness

The next time you see someone on the corner begging for money
The next time you see someone sleeping on a bench in the city
The next time you see someone pushing everything they have tirelessly
The next time you see someone living out of their vehicle shamefully

Don’t turn your head away and ignore that they exist
Don’t scold them for trying to finally get some rest
Don’t harass them for being old and helpless
Don’t punish them for having their life in a mess

Instead give them a couple dollars and a place that’s hiring
Instead give them information to a roof and a safe bed
Instead give them a meal and a place that they can check in
Instead give them a pass on parking in that lot overnight

Those couple of dollars you give may make you think you’ll go to heaven
Those couple of dollars you keep to yourself may make you think you’ll go to hell
But to them everything you have is a heavenly life
To you everything they lost is a living hell

I’m not telling you to be a charity for them
I’m telling you to be someone to help this end

You have a home,
They have less.

If you can help or know someone who is talking about where they can go to help, please search out your local Salvation Army, Food bank or elderly care facility.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hustle

Many of you know this
Some of you never noticed
I’m not the person I used to be
I’ve grown a lot if you could see

Many things have changed recently
I’ve spent time across the country
I changed the way that I view society
Finally I took hold of life responsibly

I work harder than I have before
I’ve beaten down paths never explored
I took what was right to heart and soul
I’ve made my own way after I left that door

I have twenty four hours just like you
I can’t stress enough how time works for you
You have to work it to your advantage
You need to work it so you can manage

I’m not saying everyone is capable of it
I’m sure many of you don’t care for it
Those of us who are driven by it
Those are the ones who deserve it

A wise man once told me to learn monopoly
It took a while to see what he wanted for me
Not only is he a wise man but he is worldly
I look to him as mentor on how to get my glory

I did what needed to be done to better myself
I paid a debt that gave me closure itself
It wasn’t easy but none the less it’s done
I’m able to move forward and finally have fun

I’ve put myself into a position that requires skill
It took years of working with fast pace thrill
I had to sacrifice time that I will never see
It gave me an opportunity to create for me

I’m not afraid to work the long rides
When it counts the most I work nights
If you’ve never known the worlds fright
You will never know what it’s like to fight

With two jobs to create constant income
I invested into things that have paid properly
Just like my mentor told me to with monopoly
A long term plan to solidify futures to come

After all of that I’ve still had time for passion
Many of you never find any form of expression
Mine helped me from very bad decisions
It keeps me from going into regression

Let’s not forget about the most important
The one who stayed when others wouldn’t
She saw the dream and stayed confident
Never once did she run when it got turbulent

One day job
Second shift at night
Three passionate novels
Four amazing years with the love of my life

Just to put the icing on top for you
I’ve got a host of projects around the globe
Many of them none of you will never know
You have to be involved to know what’s true

Don’t ever tell me their isn’t enough time
Don’t ever tell me you had to resort to crime
Don’t ever tell me that you don’t have the mind
Don’t ever tell me how you can’t fix your lives

If you want it, go out and just get it.
Hustle.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Writing with Demons (Collaboration)

Here we go
writing again
the Demons come
it never ends
they knock on our doors
they always want more
they want to explore
waiting to rip us apart
and throw our insides on the floor
they calculate
they demonstrate
they lie it wait
then attack
behind our backs
within our souls
the marks they leave
show around our throats
when will this end?
it doesn’t
how can we defend?
burning in Hell’s oven
creatures in the dark
lurking in our hearts
learning our craft
and perfecting our art
they are ruthless
they are determined
they want us to fall
they want to wear our skin
they want our minds
as they fuel on our sins
the nightmares will forever
keep coming.

The night is set
The blood has spilled
The pen is filled
The skin is stretched
This canvas of mine is set
The demons beckon me
The screams get close
The door is locked
The brace is dropped
Through night they heckle me
The disruption is abundant
The focus is lost
The brace is uplifted
The door is opened
This demon is a mirrored image
The large horns on its head
The sharp claws on its hands
The charred flesh of its body
The fire inside its eyes
Through the door he’s now mine
The screams of its agony
His horns now my cups
The whimpering with every pluck
His claws now my pens
The howls with every slide of my blade
His skin now a cape for the cold
The struggling of its head as I dug
His eyes now my gateway to hell
The eyes showed me the way
The way lead me to the gates of hell
In hell I found myself surrounded
In hell they saw I wasn’t afraid
The horn I carried worried them
The claw I wrote with scared them
The cape I was draped in terrified them
The eye I possessed showed them who I am
Their strength to haunt me stuttered
Their need to hurt me vanished
Their want for me to fail faded
Their desire to wear me diminished
Their attempts to get into my mind failed
The weight of my sins is not for them
I will be the nightmares for them from now on

Another Conquered Quest

Whatever you wield
Raise your sword
Upright your staff
String back your bow
Prepare for the journey

Whether you ride
A noble steed
A fierce wolf
A glorious stag
Ride forward once more

Whenever you craft
A dance of blades
A book of spells
A satchel of herbs
Practice every chance

Wherever you venture
A dark dungeon
A forgotten library
A unforgiving trail
Push on to the end

Whoever you’re born
A noble Centaur
A disgraced Human
A wealthy Elf
Honor your lineage

Whichever you encounter
A fierce dragon
A banished wizard
A grotesque troll
Fight for your life

Withheld from defeat
A hoarded treasure
A sacred relic
A delicate flower
Worship these spoils

Your weapon is ready
Your mount is waiting
Your craft is practiced
Your journey is mapped
Your lineage is honored
Your enemy is waiting
Your battle is rewarded

Despite everything you’ve been told
What tools you have
What your transportation is
What you have as passions
What you are going towards
What you came from with family
What you have fought along the way
What you have earned from those battles
No matter what don’t you ever stop

Journey awaits those who are eager for it
Regardless of how you take your journey
On the table, mini figures and dice
On a screen, controller and mic
On the ground, roleplaying all night

For those who don’t know what your missing
The rest of us will keep
The dice rolling
The raid parties qued
The Roleplaying realistic

Maybe one day you will join us,
Maybe one day,
Just maybe….

Don’t ever let anyone tell you fantasy is fake
Fantasy is what you and your imagination can make.

Fantasy, Sword & Sorcery, Dungeons & Dragons and many more have influenced me my entire life. Some times got pretty hard and I had to think about what my character would do to get through it. Having that ability to step out of my own life for a moment and put myself into this character that I not only created but also played helped me overcome some of my greatest issues in my life. The loss of a pet, relative or parent. Overcoming homelessness, addiction or fatal illness. Enduring when my shifts got harder, the days got longer and the workload too heavy. Learning diplomacy when my bosses fell on their word, my relationships felt like wars and conflicts so it didn’t end physical. Appreciating what I had when I was rewarded with a bonus, purchasing a new vehicle and changing my living condition for the better. It taught me that it’s ok to make mistakes, fail at something and then get back up and try again. It showed me that rolling a natural one doesn’t mean the end of the world (Unless your trying something the DM said no repeatedly to, then your on your own, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) It showed me that you can love something and still let it go but yet hold onto something you hate and use it as fuel. It helped me learn to live, laugh and love. It showed me how to be me, and that’s what mattered the most.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Two Steps From Relapse

I know I keep beating this same wall
I hope one day that it will finally fall

I’m sorry to keep bringing this up
But honestly
I’m so angry that I can’t just get a drink

There isn’t a day passing by
That I don’t think or cry
About the person I used to be
But never figured out why it was me

But I know I’m better for it now
Even when tempted by others in town
Even at events with party crowds
But I know I’m not going down

Let me tell you a story
Let me show you this glory
About a day not long ago
About a day I almost let it all go

I was walking into a store
A man looked at me with elusive eyes
“You look like you could use a drink”

He wanted me to step inside
He wanted me to put life aside
He didn’t know me from anywhere
He didn’t know how I much I cared

I stopped for a moment
I stopped for a millenium
“You don’t understand that war”
I wanted him to know how I think
I wanted him to know he shouldn’t speak

He took a step aside and opened his arm
“My friend, there is no war, only what you’re good for.”
He watched me shake my head
He watched me pull my mask from my face
“You don’t know what it’s like in that place.”

I was shocked by his resolve
He was annoyed at my resolve
“Here friend, this one is on me, go ahead and drink.”

I watched from outside my body
I watched my life crumble before me
I watched my love cry at what I was becoming
I watched me take my own life for what’s disgusting

I knew I had to fight to be free
“Unless you’ve been in a war”
He cut me off, adamant to get to me
“My friend I’ve seen many a war”
I could tell from his eyes he never saw people scream
“Then you should know how bad this is for me”
He pulled the bottle back to him
“You are no man of any war”
I didn’t care what he thought of me
“I’ve been to hell and back with that bottle before”
He shoved his poison back into the store
“Go away, you waste no more time at my door.”

I was trembling physically
I was terrified heartfully
I was confused mentally
I was crying internally

I walked through the store
like many times before
I felt all eyes on me
like what I did wasn’t ignored

I quickly exited the store
through the door I came in before
this man was pulling in another
I stopped and grabbed their attention
“Don’t do it brother”

The man at the door stormed away
The man walking to the door turned afraid
“I’ve been sober almost 4 months”
I reached out to meet his hand
“I’ve been sober almost four years”
The tear in his eyes gave away his dreams
“It only gets harder doesn’t it?”
I felt my eyes begin to welt as well
“You have to get stronger against it.”

We traded head nods and walked our separate paths
He stood taller as he walked inside the store
His wife hugged him like she hadn’t before
I traded everything in another life for that one drink

People don’t understand
What it’s like when your close to that door
People don’t understand
What it’s like to fight this war

I hope that man’s life is forever changed
I hope his wife sees how hard he’s trying
I know that my life has changed forever
I know that my wife knows how hard I’m trying

I would never put her through those times again
I would never betray her faith in my strength
I would never allow myself to be put through that pain
I would never give in to that which I was diseased

Deciding to get sober is meaningful
Getting sober is nothing but painful
Staying sober is only gainful

Please be understanding of sobriety
Please be patient with sobriety
Above everything else
Please be respectful of sobriety

Many of us are only a few steps into it
Many of us are only a few steps past it
As for me
I was only two steps away from relapsing into it.

*DISCLAIMER*
The term “War” is not used in the sense of a militarized war that those brave men and women have fought and are still fighting. I have nothing but respect for those who have given me the freedom to express these things by fighting for my freedom.
*DISCLAIMER*

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Life, We Are One

I’ve spoken on this many times before
My words were labeled as a dull bore

We are living in this world together
If we forget that now it won’t last forever

I’ve seen hatred during its truest of forms
It’s something we don’t have when born

But no one is willing to admit that
We need to snuff out racism at last

We need to change before it’s too late
If we don’t we will have nothing to appreciate

I’ve experienced pain that no one should
It’s caused more deaths than war ever could

But no one can talk about it openly
We need to understand depression truthfully

We are consumed by what famous people do
Yet we don’t know what new medicines do

You would rather see someone’s new boo
I would rather find a cure for those I knew

We want so badly to see people fail
Yet we don’t know what it took to prevail

You would rather watch them struggle
I would rather help and pick up a shovel

We complain that there is nothing to eat
Yet we waste more food than nations can meet

You would rather order new food every night
I would rather eat left overs without the fight

We judge others for what they don’t possess
Yet we pursue things that put us in great debts

You would rather show off your new things
I would rather invest in building my dream

We are living in a time of greed
Yet now it is apparent what we really need

You would rather keep it all for yourself
I would rather give to who can’t fill their shelf

I demand that you stop the hatred
Stop it when you see it

I beg you to help those who are unwell
Be an ear for someone to talk to

I encourage you to promote better medicine
We all know someone in need of a cure

I volunteer you to join in building something
Structure strengthens society

I recommend you to cook more often
It’s a life skill that has many benefits

I advise you to take your finances seriously
Seriously stop buying things you don’t need

I ask you to donate what you can to others
We all struggled at some point and needed it

Above all else
I ask that you look at this mess
Do what you know is best
Together we can help out the rest

I have spoken on this once more
My words will echo louder than before

Life, We Are One.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Stories of my mind

Step into my eyes
Push the gates open to my mind
Admire the oddities along this path

Watch the holes in the ground
They are awaiting their occupants still
Don’t mind the bodies hanging from trees
Their lies planted the seeds for their own death

Watch your footing as you walk along the mud
You don’t want to step into my river of blood
These keys hold the safety of every thought
This key holds the ability to see through time

I’ve been to war in the past
I’ve walked with aliens on their paths
I’ve seen my loved ones die in a crash
I’ve done things that only pay in stolen cash

The lights are bright and only illuminate my sight
Take a look and tell me what you think tonight
Admire every trophy that you see in my mind
Ask me anything you want about these times

That rifle hanging on the wall?
I went through an zombie apocalypse with my friends
Many of them turned into my enemies
In the end I died getting everyone to safety
Or so the story tells that in the end

That pistol sitting on my desk?
I was the last option for many events
A owed a favor to a friend that involved his daughter
In return he helped when my brother was in danger
I was lost but I said I’ll always come home

That uniform hanging decorated in medals?
I was part of a space program that failed
A new Atlas was created and it was my responsibility
In an act of war I took the ship and defended our planet
What I watched leave in front of me came back around

That mask sitting on the pedestal?
I was raised to kill people who disrespected mine
My mentor passed away and left me his mind
Many of the murders are still unsolved to this day
People think that wraith is gone, he is just away

That Tahoe sitting in the garage?
I was a contract killer that took jobs for the right reason
There was rules to each job that kept me from treason
My wife didn’t know about it until it was too late
A setup drew me out due a long overdue date

That old leather book sitting on the shelf?
I was the only one who was able to save my people
A long journey took me to the end of my mind
I was tortured and failed to stop a long war
I made a few friends I’ve kept and we are still fighting

That heart hooked up to machines upstairs?
I gave that to the one woman who understands me
When I asked her to take it she said yes
She knows where to find it if I start to retreat
It holds this house together as it beats

I’ve given everything to keep these trophies safe
But lately I feel like hiding them is a waste
My mind is a dangerous place for anyone without taste
I appreciate you taking this tour of my favorite place

So next time you look into my eyes
I might be on the outer rim of space
I might be committing murder in the same place
I might be starving in an apocalypse with a rifle case
I might be sailing the high seas trying to escape
I might be driving with a body in back with a beaten face
Or maybe I’m here with you in this present state

These eyes tell stories of my mind
These eyes see stories in real time
You will never know where I am
You will only wonder who I am

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Killing to Change

If I’m going to do this then the only way is to bring everything to light.
The person I am today didn’t happen overnight.
There are bodies in my past that have never been found
People who have gone missing without a sound

The first person I killed,
A ten year old boy.
He never had a chance to be innocent
I suffocated him with cigarette smoke in a field.

The second person I killed,
A thirteen year old boy.
He never got a chance to live with joy
I got him addicted to drugs and he overdosed on a dark street

The third person I killed,
A seventeen year old young man.
He never knew how much everyone loved him
I forced him to take his own life in the middle of the night.

The fourth person I killed,
A twenty one year old man.
He never thought he needed anyone,
I made him live on the streets until he died of starvation.

The fifth person I killed,
A twenty four year old man.
He never saw what he had in front of him,
I drug him behind my truck in the mountains because he wouldn’t get sober.

In order for one to move on,
the old version of you must be gone.

If you decided to stay,
You will forever be tied to,
Your past ways,
Your past relationships,
Your past problems.

Only when you decide to move on,
Can you finally look back and see what was wrong.

Because of my past I have dealt with,
Things I wish I had never done,
People I wish I had never got involved with,
Places I wish I had never been to.

But nothing can change that now.

Would I go back and change if I could,
Probably not but nobody ever would.

You become the person you are from your past
You can’t run from it,
You can’t hide from it,
You can’t deny any of it.

Instead.

You can face it.
You can confront it.
You can learn from it.

Become the person you want to be,
Not the person you got blamed for being.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE!

© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Legends Club

*DISCLAIMER*

Reader discretion is advised. I do not condone or support any type of self harm or suicide. If you or someone you know is experiencing these troubles, please seek help. The world is a better place with you here.

I have less than two hours to go
I wasn’t what they wanted
I gave my all when all was what I could give
I never stopped working towards this goal
Safety switched off

It was my last year
It was my last month
It was my last day
It was my last chance
One in the chamber

In a few hours, I’ll be 28
In a few hours, I will lose my key
In a few hours, I’ll never see that gate
In a few hours, I will become someone I hate
Pressure on the trigger

I’ll never try this again
It’s my last chance to make it happen
I’ll never pick up the work again
It’s my last job to do
I’ll go out with a bang

With that being said
With what I have made peace with
With my decision to not go on like this
With my mind finally clear of it all
Just like the memory of me

This curse that was given to me will be over
This failed attempt at greatness will fade
These stories will never be told
These designs will never be built
I’m not the man they wanted me to be

My unfinished work will make me a legend

Then If for some reason I’m stopped
Then I’ll grow old and grey
Then if I find peace in my existence
Then I’ll tell my stories to those who listen

My unfinished work will not allow me to be a legend

It was my job to make sure we made it
It was my job to take care of us
It was my job to elevate our situation
It was my job to create a better world

My unfinished work must be finished to become a legend

If I do this I’ll be the one who sees it through
If then I remain on this plane of existence for some reason
If I become the legend I was destined to be
If then I will be hung in due time for acts of treason

My own death then will turn me into a martyr
It will stir the masses to become active
My own cause will be turned into a crusade
It will be received as the greatest rebellion

Those in power ignored my cries
Those in power will lose their control
Those without power watched my demise
Those without power will be the controllers

So many of my comrades have been taken
So many families I have comforted
So many times have I visited their graves
So many of them put their faith in me

So why am I still stuck in this realm?
So why hasn’t my time come?
So why can’t I join them in peace?
So why does it come down to me to remain?

Chaos was never my intention
I only wanted peace
Rebellion was never my plan
I only wanted equality
Death was always an option
I only wanted to save humanity

I’m tired but can’t get sleep
You’ve stayed awake longer for less

I’m sick but can’t be cured
You’ve beaten the worst disease three times

I’m hungry but can’t get food
You’ve been homeless and broke

I’m working but can’t be paid
You’ve done more for others voluntarily

I will tirelessly forge my legacy
I will remedy faith in destiny
I will craft illustriousness at will
I will vigorously retain on originality

Death is no longer an option
The legends club can keep its members

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