4 Years

It’s hard for me to sit here and think
That only four years ago this week
I was lost in my addiction to needing a drink

Never once thinking of what I was doing
I had a problem that had been brewing
My need to drink was doing my choosing

Now more clearly seeing these things
It’s something to think of so easily
I didn’t see that I was influenced heavily

Looking back at my confusing past
Not once stopping to throw it in the trash
I could have ended it all in a deathly crash

Year one was a blur
I hated being sober at first
I hated seeing others fix their thirst

Year two was a fight
I fought with bad thoughts endlessly
I fought with my reflection relentlessly

Year three was a stir
I tossed the idea around almost daily
I tossed my sobriety a coin to flip for me

Year four was right
I cleared my mind of drinking eventually
I cleared my mind of the negativity finally

It was hard to admit it from the start
To admit I had a problem rooted deeply
Seated in hatred for my life at certain parts
Convincing myself that this wasn’t so dark

Now four years down the road
I’m a better person for taking that route
Being happy with my life and growth
Not needing to have a drink for hope

I know the pain I’ve caused in the past
I’m not the same man that held that glass
I’ve grown into someone I’m happy to be
I have no interest in your thoughts of me

All I ask is for you to meet me in this new place
I don’t want forgiveness that’s two faced
I only want you to know me as I am today
No the drunken mess that I used to be

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please help them. Addiction is looked at as a choice, no lie, at one point it is. Then it evolves into something that the person only knows. Have patience with them, guide them to sobriety and support their decision. The worst thing that someone can do is finally get sober and then be bullied back to their addiction. Lord knows no one wants me back in the bottle, which is why I surround myself with those who know my struggle. If you have no one you can talk to, not enough strength to call the addiction line or go to a group, then come to me. I will be your strength, I will pick you up when you start fall, I will grab you when you feel yourself slipping, I will listen to you when no one else will and I will guide you on your journey through sobriety.
Peace, love and serenity to all.