Disclaimer
What you are about to read is of a graphic nature, reader discretion is advised.
It’s an endless war
No matter what it’s for
The enemy strikes relentlessly
It’s attacks are timed perfectly
Your smell was always intoxicating
Your taste was what I craved the most
Your touch was soft and comforting
The next morning I hated your scent
The next morning I vomited from your taste
The next morning your touch hurt
I hate that I loved you so much
I wanted you and then wished you gone
I needed you but knew it wouldn’t work
I hate that I killed you but I love this freedom
I thought you had died, I was horribly wrong.
I was driving and she was asleep
Finally heading north to make things right
From out of the darkness you arrived
On the highway doing 95 at night
I wanted to stop but I pushed harder
Doing 110 I hit you with force
You vanished in the rear view
No trace was left of your corpse
I was weak and already defeated
You waited until my walls were down
I was no match for a second battle
You took the advantage I left open
I heard you open the door and step inside
You didn’t know how angry I was
Under the defeated feelings was a fire
You baited me out of the room with ease
I choked you on the floor till you stopped
No one knew another person died tonight
I was tired and ready for the day to be over
You got clever and tried to ambush me
I was aware of all your forms except this one
You took me by surprise this time around
I almost lost this battle to you as the sun set
You didn’t know my faith for the one I love
Your attempts outside a resort dock failed
I shoved you inside the back of that van
No one heard the screams as I cut you apart.
I was with her and her family when you came
You managed to work your way into them
I felt like I was alone with no back up
You got your first few punch’s landed
I brushed them off and you wouldn’t leave
You got comfy and decided to go outside
I walked outside to ask you to leave
You hit me again before I could speak
I threw you over the balcony that night
Your body hit the lake and sunk to the bottom
I was home and working on my book
You knocked on my door for once
I wasn’t expecting it to be you this time
You weren’t expecting me to answer either
We have done this battle over and over
I felt this wasn’t the right thing to do
You knew I had doubts about this
I knew I needed to stay strong this time
You thought you finally got into me
I knew your ego was blinding you
You didn’t know I had been plotting
I wanted you to feel like you won
You took a look around at what you’ve missed
I let you walk into my life one last time
You’ll never be to leave me again
I’ll keep you right where I want you
You can watch but never hurt me again
I’ll tell everyone you got out of town
I’ll keep you tied up and out of sight
I’ll sell everything you ever owned
I’ll use that money to make my world
I’ll call those you hurt and apologize
I’ll make sure you never talk to them again
The process of becoming sober and clean is a very hard thing to do when it was the only thing in life that kept you going. Life gets dark and takes you places you never thought you would end up. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse please know that it is ok to ask for help.
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© Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus, 2014-20–. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Trenton Stalnaker and Around the block and on the bus with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Around the block and on the bus. 